Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Rising From The Ashes of Loss, My Voyage Through Grief: excerpt # 35

Chapter 9

Post Loss
Anger - Depression - Boredom - Letting go of the old attachments, creating a new identity, reinventing myself, redirecting released energies towards new goals 
May to August 2011                                                                                                    
My crushing loneliness
Although acting out my pain with my new toy brings some momentary relief, making a fool of myself driving my caddie like a maniac is not going to solve the issue and can only get me into deep trouble.  The loneliness and the boredom I feel is profoundly rooted and although I have come a long way in positively managing my grief, it is still not over and I feel help is needed.  Well, not help, I prefer the word support.  My sick sense of independence will not allow me to break down and ask for help, I don't know, I've always been like that, it's a thing with me.  Another damn issue I'll have to work on eventually.  
I have never been a social beast as they say, I'm more of the semi-loner type sitting by myself in a corner observing  people going on about their business.  So joining social groups and the likes does not appeal to me.  A therapist?  Whoa!  The mere thought of it gives me the creeps.  My ego will not suffer it, no dice.  Then, as I am cogitating on the matter, the word BFO comes to mind.  I remember reading about the Bereaved Families of Ontario, a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting grieving people who are going through the difficult period of losing a loved one.   I make arrangements to meet with them.  This turns out to be one of the best moves I ever made.
My first contact with the grieving group
The place is small, the atmosphere warm and friendly.  E., the coordinator makes me feel at ease and seems to understand my grief instantly, even just after a short talk upon my arrival.  What a relief.  I am then invited to join one of their many support groups which consist of people sitting in a circle around a facilitator who's task is to encourage the participants to express their feelings about their losses.  I am so enthusiastic about the whole process that I decide on the spot to become a volunteer facilitator myself.  Not everyone can become a facilitator of course and I  have to fill out a bunch of forms and pass an interview to evaluate if I fit the psychological profile required to take on this challenging task.  I receive a passing grade and I am scheduled for the next training course that is to take place in the following spring.  Meanwhile, part of my education will be to attend the support groups a couple of times a month and will at the same time offer me the support I need.  I leave the place with a good feeling and enjoy a short reprieve from the stabbing knife in my guts.

Read more at Amazon.ca: http://tinyurl.com/ydcgzc5j

Dr. Pierre Milot, Ph.D., Ph.D. (tc)
Life Transitions Counsellor
Grief Recovery Specialist - Clinical Hypnotherapist
Tel: 613.774.4389
Blog: www.coaching4stress.blogspot.com

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